Blogger Tips: How Not to Get Caught Up in the Comparison Game
My neighbour, Rajesh, and I were relaxing on the veranda of his home, sipping on masala chai and talking about a book based on the intricacies of the Human Mind {that we had both recently read}. Just then the front door opened with a bang and a tornado called Jai {my neighbour’s son} came in. He was accompanied by two of his friends from college. Oh, the energy of youth! I felt as if an army had invaded the house.
They were chatting nineteen to the dozen. Much of the conversation seemed to be about the engagement/number of likes each had received on posts they had shared on Instagram. I then recalled that it was just last week I had noticed Jai’s face reflect gloom. Rajesh had explained that his son looked strained because one of his Instagram posts containing a link to his latest blog had not been well received. Jai is a good writer… I have read some of his blog posts and found them to be well written. But I guess that sometimes, life does give us lemons, especially when we hope for so much more. It happens to all of us, doesn’t it? I am sure you will agree with me.
The above incident triggered some thoughts. One of the most difficult things about being in this industry is that everyone is really freakin’ good! And the Instagram likes that Jai had received ~ gosh, how these aspects of Social Media dominate today’s world. I pondered on how the internet has captured us; heart, mind, and soul. Crazy but true, this is how things stand today.
Look around you… People today are tech-savvy and prefer online transactions to off-line. Distance, language, or even time is no longer a concern. The world is full of picture-perfect selfies, perfectly articulated blog posts, visually stunning videos and short films, brilliantly crafted business promotion campaigns… every person, business or brand, is trying very hard to one-up the other! All this content is uploaded to online platforms like Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Linkedin, YouTube, Whatsapp, Pinterest and so many more. Most of these uploads are viewed and reviewed by people across the world, which makes you realise that the reach of each of these mediums is truly incredible! Social media competition is here and gaining momentum. So it will.
As preferences change ~ with this intense competition and pressure to generate amazing content, where it would seem like everyone out there has aces up their sleeves, especially where social media campaigns are concerned ~ comparing ourselves to others is bound to happen.
When we look at another person’s online content, we start looking for snags on our own and the whole process takes a different direction. You start questioning your competence and your worth. It could even go as far as losing motivation.
When my wife, Tanya started blogging two years ago, I noticed that she always found it difficult not to compare her work to those whose content she was engaging with. And, I strongly feel that this is a struggle most people combat in the early stages of any creative endeavour. Just remember, once you start comparing yourself, it will become a habit that cannot be easily overcome.
What then, is the best solution to sort this crisis? How can the comparing stop?
I’m sharing a few things that I coached her through, that might work for you. Here’s how to stop comparing yourself to other bloggers:
Focus: This is the most important aspect of blogging. You are bound to wander off your track, and this happens especially at the start of any venture. Be aware that you have started your project with a purpose. Mentally push yourself back on track. It is a struggle, but also the first most important thing to do.
Stay Committed: Don’t expect to be successful overnight. These things take time, but the wait is worth it. If you are committed to your project and purpose, you will slowly develop your own style. Trust this and you will be proud of your achievements!
Take An Internet Sabbatical: This means staying away from browsing the net for long periods of time. Connect with your ‘self’, your creativity, your originality. Do something you like instead; listen to music, read a book, watch a movie or go for a run.
Copying Was Never The Answer: Cloning is never interesting, just mechanical. Nobody likes to read or experience repetition, over and over again.
Live In The Present: In the here and now. It will help you become more focused, and connected to your inner power. A sure-fire way to rein your wandering mind and allow the flow of positivity.
Introspect: Reflect on your journey. Measure the progress you have made from the day you started until now. This includes personal and professional progress. What you have learned? What have you experienced? Get into the habit of capturing each milestone, big and small. This exercise not only paves the way to a smoother and much loved tomorrow but gives you a sense of pride in what you have achieved. That is the start of success!
When Browsing, Choose Your Platform: I find Pinterest a great motivator. It’s inspirational and you can connect to it without feeling like you are not as good. At the same time, it provides you with numerous ideas to use without being self-judgemental.
To conclude: Comparison kills creativity and originality. Wouldn’t you rather be happy for someone’s success, and use it as a catalyst to get yourself there. Remember, “What sets you apart can sometimes feel like a burden, but it’s not. And a lot of the time, it’s what makes you great.” ~ Emma Stone
How do you deal with comparison? Share with us in the comments below!
Great article! I’ve been blogging since 2012 and have experienced periods when I evaluate my work to others with similar blogs. I totally agree with you in that when I stop reading comparative blogs for a little bit, I’m a great deal more creative!
We all need to focus on our own positives rather than that of others, Aditya.
This is exactly what I have been experiencing… And I am doing my best not to lose myself between comparing myself to the bloggers that motivate me and keeping my own unique style!
I think we all have something unique to bring to the blogging world, Tarun. As we all are different, and have different strengths.
Great advice! It’s so easy to get stuck in the comparison trap; however you’re right ~ there is room for all of us! I find that focusing on “staying in my own lane” does really help.
The comparison trap is so easy to fall into, Nishita. Whether it’s other bloggers, or something else that you do, the comparison trap will steal the joy out of life and your accomplishments.
Love the advice given… unique from what I have read before. The best part is you decide your own limits. So, live this life, try things out, and keep exploring the things you love!
That makes me happy to hear, Shreya.
It’s difficult not to constantly compare yourself to others… For me this certainly comes and goes in waves, however I needed this lesson today! And yes, I do believe that a person is multifaceted and should develop all parts of his/her personality holistically.
It’s really important not to measure your success by that of other bloggers, Shrabani. Make sure to invest time to build your creative and artistic facets…
I love reading blogs written by well known influencers, but sometimes stress over how much they influence me and hamper my creativity… Thank you for your advise; I find it really interesting and an alternate interpretation to what I’ve previously read.
My advice is to just keep going and your voice will eventually come through, Debasish.
SUCH an extraordinary post! I am currently in a funk and wanting to give up blogging because of this constant comparison of myself to bloggers who have achieved success. Comparison is truly the thief of joy and each one of the points you’ve addressed ring true!
Taking a step back, and deciding what you really want/need from blogging makes a difference, Shubhra.
Yes to all of this! I was just discussing with a friend today on how much I value our friendship because we lift each other up and aren’t competitive. We share tips, anecdotes, and share ideas.
Wonderful. It’s important to learn to use another person’s success as inspiration, Yukti.
This is such a brilliant reality check, and something every blogger should read (perhaps every day!). Thank you!
Glad you found the post useful, Janvi.
Thanks for this guidance, Vikram. I compare myself way to much with other people and I annoy myself doing that! Always nice to know that I’m not the only one. 🙂
I realise that it is difficult to not compare yourself to other bloggers. My advice would be to work more to find your own voice and style, Priyanka.
I really needed to hear all of this today! I am a new blogger and am struggling to gain followers. I look at other people’s blogs and immediately feel dissatisfied with my own. This post really helped me feel better about my future and myself! Thank you!
It’s best just to do “you” when it comes to blogging. And sometimes that can mean almost perfect and sometimes it doesn’t, Debaleena.
Love your tips and reminders, because it’s natural to compare and to then put yourself down. I definitely think that it’s time to set out with my own voice and be authentic in my voice!
It is important to be yourself and to blog like YOU would blog. I think readers recognise authentic voices and gravitate toward those whose voices are apparent, Dewanshi.
This is such an important post to read and apply! I don’t have as much of an issue with comparing myself with others as I do from not acknowledging that I’ve accomplished anything at all. We all need to remember that we have our own gifts, don’t we?
Absolutely. Blog with confidence and knowing that you’re having fun doing so. It’s not always easy, but it’s definitely rewarding, Nitika.
Well said! I do the same ~ I always compare myself to others who I think are more successful and it is not healthy. I need to realise I am successful in my own right!
I would encourage you to gather your thoughts, check your emotions, and tell yourself that you can accomplish this. Then, get to work doing what you need to do, Prachi.
This is one of the timeliest posts for me! I actually have been kinda feeling like a fraud since I know I am doing well, however I second guess myself… Well, I am human!
It’s difficult, but it’s important to train yourself to restrain the feeling, Mandar.
It is so easy to compare yourself to others, instead of focusing on your own triumphs. I try to block out the negativity… but I am not always successful. Excellent hints and tips and now raring to go! Thank you for sharing, Vikram.
Try to think of the people you compare yourself to as inspiration, Sudhakaran. It really does help.
Thanks SO much for this reminder! With age, I have seen that I am improving and doing much better about being myself and not comparing myself to others.
That is true reflection ~ when you realise a different perspective, a different outlook. Keep it up, Rudrakash!
Very encouraging message! I used to constantly compare myself to others. I have discovered that I shouldn’t do that because at the end of the day, my blog is my blog, with my thoughts. And these thoughts are unique in relation to any other blogger out there!
Definitely an important perspective, Alankrita. It’s important to stay positive and focus on all the great opportunities coming your way.
Love all the advice! Every now and then I find myself getting disappointed that my readership isn’t higher because I’ve been blogging for so long! In any case, I have a wonderful SMALL community of readers that have stayed with me these past 6 years, and that is awesome!
I completely agree with you, Shreya; slow and steady wins the race. Success matters most when it’s on your terms!
I am so impressed with this post, Vikram! Elegantly composed and a valuable, creative viewpoint. I am looking to start a blog and needed to have this sound and practical advice! Thank you!
That’s a lovely compliment. Thank you, Raj.
Another great article. Helpful if not inspiring! It’s really about being present to where I am right here, right now. Then I can be grateful for my growth and knowledge.
Absolutely Raffealla. The comparison game cripples growth, so it’s important to stand in your own light.
Motivating content! I’m not a blogger, but an amateur who plays a few gigs here and there but I am constantly in the comparison mode, and primarily about the type of music I play. It seems that most artists in my area play either blues or bluegrass, while I play pop and folk. Even though I get compliments from listeners, I’m always thinking I can’t get the next big because I don’t play what I imagine to be the “in” style.
Thanks for reaching out, Nitya. To reiterate, it’s important to cultivate the awareness to know one’s triggers and quickly refrain from the tendency to “compare & despair”!
Thanks for the encouragement to celebrate our own victories! I agree that we need to stay in our own lane in an awareness of the abundance always available through focus, effort and inspiration!
Yes… This sort of mindset has paid off dividends in my life.
Wise words, thank you. When I practice not comparing, I realise that the message speaks loudly. And when I am in comparison mode, then the message gets lost.
The more we can celebrate the good things we have achieved, and remembering the bigger picture… The more we can get all the cogs whirring in the right direction…