Advice to my younger self: Go at your own pace
Pace is a funny thing. The more we find ourselves worshipping at the altar of productivity the more we get caught up in our own busyness. Paradoxical as it may seem, our lives happen to perpetually oscillate between the extremes of haste and procrastination which lulls our lives into a jaded train of actions with very less thought into how we really should stop and live life at our own pace.
We’ve all heard the words, “Go at your own pace” so very often. It makes complete sense too. But does it apply to those times when your boss gives you a project with too short a time scale? Or when you have to reach a milestone without any deferment? And then, there is this universal belief that taking up more commitments can help us progress more quickly in life and hence warrant success. But there is a point where that sense of urgency breaks and all you want to do is stop. And, amidst the need to slow down and the need to accomplish your tasks in time, you somehow end up doing nothing to perfection. What if you end up losing interest in the very things that you were once very passionate about? Even worse, what if you are worn out?
The truth is that everyone does have their own pace, and to lead a more fulfilling life, it is important to recognise your personal “flow”. Knowing your pace shouldn’t pull down your morale, even if it seems to be relatively slower than others. We are all individuals and therefore our recipe for everything in life is unique.
Recalling to childhood, it’s not hard to remember finding ourselves racing against time to finish our food before our siblings; beat our classmates on the race track; or be the first to finish math problems. Every aspect of childhood life was dominated by this need of finishing first or fast. And like a faithful puppy, this belief follows us for the rest of our lives ~ from completing our education to scoring the perfect job to purchasing our dream home. Untangling this psychological root system is a difficult thing and for the most part, we easily submit ourselves to this belief.
The idea of hastiness has somehow been honed into our psyche by society and it has managed to amplify in this age of technology. I strongly feel that we rush into things too quickly ~ finding ourselves too caught up in the pressure of succeeding in our lives and endeavouring to match or surpass the people we look up to. In doing all of this, we lose sight of the fact that everything comes with time, and our ambitions will be realised even if we worked at a pace that we were more comfortable with. Although digitisation has proved to be a gift for those who love speed, quite sadly, I am guilty of trying to pick up my pace and go faster than I normally would ~ so that I can do more.
So, does haste really make waste? This age-old adage holds more meaning today than ever before. Doing things quickly is good, achieving success early is even better, but not by compromising your body and mind. Is all the pressure that you build up around achieving a goal worth it in the end, especially if it compromises your own health? In my opinion, accepting our unique flow and avoiding haste can reduce our worries and all the stress that comes with it. It may be hard to imagine slowing down when everyone else is quickening their pace, but the joy of doing things at your pace ~ is immeasurable.
There truly is no need to rush into something that you may not be ready for or you may not be capable of yet. And, the loveliest and most precious moments of life are often hidden in the things that you do for leisure; reading a book for example, or ideating about things irrelevant to your work, or taking a lazy mid-afternoon nap just to feel rested before you start working again.
I am not going to lead you to believe that my urge for taking on more work has subsided, but it has certainly simmered to make way for other things in my life. I find myself being more attentive to the needs of my body, which has lead to booking spa appointments. I also find myself spending more time with my husband, and somehow my excitement for parties is waning. Instead of running too fast and pushing myself too far ~ I am now going with my own flow.
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It’s a daily check-in with myself to see how I am feeling. If I feel that I could do more, then I allow myself to plunge into a busy schedule. But for 99% of the days when I feel that I am completely content with the work I am doing ~ I focus on myself. And I let the guilt of “being less” go out the window because I know that I am working at a pace that I am comfortable with. I am improving in my very own ways and I am proud of it. I truly believe that if you simply continue doing what you love to do, with passion, and at your own pace… you’ll be just fine.
So, I encourage you to find your own pace this week ~ or if nothing else ~ go slow until you have an inclination that you really need more. Give your work and yourself time truly deserved. I assure you, that you will still meet your goals by moving slower. This one is for your body, mind, and soul ~ they are long due the attention you should give to them. Let them move at the pace they were intended to.
What’s your take? Are you on your own pace? Or that of others? And, what advice would you give to your younger self?
Such a beautifully articulated post complimented by stunning pictures! I would advise my younger self to just say ‘yes’ to every opportunity that comes your way… Listen, care and then react. xx
Thank you for your appreciation, Ritwika.
Wonderful guidance offered here. I like the emphasis on doing things in your own way… 🙂
This quote really resonates with me:
“You decide what excess is for you. Having drive is a self-actualising positive attribute, but being driven, being compelled to work long-hours, is soul destroying.”
It’s an apt one, Nilakshi. Definitely one to live by.
An authentic human, commonly flawed. Truthful, who always chooses the way of the righteous, no matter how much the ricochet…
Such a beautiful post ❤️ I would advise my younger self to take time to engage those around her and develop friendships beyond her work environment: serve the community, give of her time and expect nothing in return!
Yes, yes, yes! Thank you for wording this thought so well, Rohini.
Love love love! I thought of myself as inadequate and less than during my young adulthood. I would talk to my younger self, and I would tell her to stop making herself small. Lots of hugs and kisses! ❤️
Absolutely! Self awareness and realisation originate from within.
Thank you for sharing your wonderful thoughts, Tanya. I like to take the time to notice things that others usually overlook… by slowing down and enjoying my life! 🙂
Such a beautiful way to live, right?
This post is refreshing and genuinely a necessity in my life! I would tell myself to get a passport and jump on a plane to explore the world at age 30, and enjoy making experiences by myself! xx
I’m glad you enjoyed the post, Megha.
Beautiful images and lovely words. ❤️❤️❤️ I like what you said in regards to releasing the blame of “being less” as you are improving in your own way… I will not say this has been an easy lesson to learn over the past few years, but it is a lesson that I am very thankful I have experienced firsthand.
Excellent takeaway, Vidya!
Such a beautifully informative piece that has attracted me with its simplicity… I get overwhelmed easily, so I would advise myself to ~ Believe in yourself. Follow your talents. Put yourself out there no matter what!
That’s the best way, isn’t it?! So glad to be of help, Anukrit.
“You are going at the pace that is normal for you and you will get there.” All of us need this reminder, on an every day basis! ❤️
So true!
Love ❤ this share! The advice I would give my younger self is to calm down and think it through! To RESPOND rather than REACT to things…
Well said, Pollyanna.
The key thought for me is that everyone can gain from another’s experience yet modify their learnings to suit his/her own objectives… I certainly haven’t mastered it, but it certainly makes for a more peaceful, productive life!
Thank you for sharing your thoughts, Raktim.
You’re a brilliant and beautiful writer! It is pretty difficult to find like-minded humans, more so, to find people who understand the crests and lows of your struggle and be a part of that journey… And on that note, I would advise myself to – trust that every life experience, good or bad, will not be wasted and can help propel you to what the Universe has destined you to be!
Very sensitive of you to resonate like this, Sangita.
Words are the simplest yet the most beautiful way to endear… Thank you for creating and shaping this amazing space! It’s been an honour following you. xx
Dear Sohini, you overwhelm me!
Beautiful write-up! You personify talent, and keeping up with you here/following your words of advise ~ has given me so much confidence! Learn unlearn learn is the cycle of life and we have to positively move ahead with this…
Thank you for your sweet words, Rizvan.
I find myself admiring your humble and beautiful personality, Tanya. I am yet to learn a lot… but your words have helped me pause and reflect on the most important lessons I’ve learned. Especially ones that remain useful to remember, embrace and act on right now!
So happy to hear your affectionate sentiments on this post, Sreyashi.
This is so beautiful, Tanya. ❤️ I read it twice! When you halt the constant self feuds for social approval, quit the turmoil within, unlisted for acceptance… you set yourself free. You start loving every bit of yourself, becoming dynamic, bold and powerful!
Thank you for your fulsome appreciation, Sushmita. It means a lot to me!
You’re a beautiful person inside and out, Tanya! ❤️ It’s been quite sometime that we have shared our never ending inside jokes… and how we bonded over a cup of tea throughout the years!
Thank you for your warm appreciation, Radhika. I do miss those days…
I’m impressed, Tanya! Rarely do I come across a blog that’s both educative and entertaining, and let me tell you, you have hit the nail on the head with Urban Diaries. Your thought process and post curation is outstanding; this issue especially is one that not enough people are speaking intelligently about… So, thank you!
I’m humbled by your kind words, Atrayee.